A Useful Pep Talk: Managing Your "Imposter Syndrome"
Several years ago, my firm was up for a big government contract.
I spent days drafting and polishing our proposal. By the time it was done, I thought it was pretty great. Our potential client agreed. In fact, she said it was the strongest proposal of the three finalists.
I didn’t win the contract.
Here’s the story: After I had submitted the proposal, I was asked to meet with the committee making the hiring decision. From the moment I walked into the meeting, I felt like I was being judged. Because I look younger than I am (I’m close to 40 but could pass for 29), I convinced myself that the prospect thought I was too young to work with the agency’s leadership. I proceeded to flub several answers.
It was all in my head.
In a follow-up phone call, the prospective client told me that based on the strength of my proposal, the work had been mine to lose – but that my mediocre in-person performance lost the proposal for my firm. She was right.
In hindsight, that was one of the most important moments in my career. I decided at that moment to never again allow a destructive interior monologue to cost me a client. Today, I walk into meetings reminding myself that we deliver great work and that our clients have deep respect for our firm. I’m going to lose work to other firms again – but I refuse to let it be because I allowed an insecurity to trip me up.
The imposter syndrome doesn’t just apply to client meetings. It applies to media interviews and speeches, as well.
You’d be stunned by the number of top executives we work with who also feel like “imposters” – like the emperor without any clothes who will be revealed as a fraud at any moment. They often feel like they didn’t fully earn their professional role, and believe it’s only a matter of time before someone calls them out for being a fake. They feel that there are people more knowledgeable than they are and that the public will recognize that from the first minute they begin speaking.
I’ve noticed something critical about people who suffer from the imposter syndrome: that the odds are good – very good – that other people view them as credible. That it’s all in their heads.
So the next time you hear those insecurities before you give a speech, deliver a media interview, or hold a client meeting, remind yourself that the imposter syndrome is all in your head. Then, get out of your own way and knock ‘em dead.
Brad, enjoyed your post. A great reminder to all consultants who have all been there too. The only bigger danger than the imposter syndrome is the helium ego balloon. Thanks for your story!
Jeff,
You’re right! I suppose the takeaway is to avoid both ends of the spectrum and just ride the perfect balance somewhere in the middle.
Thanks for stopping by,
Brad
Brad, great post! The book “Power” by Jeffrey Pfeffer is a great read on this topic and frankly a must-read if you want to succeed in corporate life or business.
I learned from his book that whether you feel like it or not, you have to act the part – act like you own the room and you will. Confidence is key. Not arrogance – confidence.
And so much of Power is simply taking control of the situation. Act like a leader and you become one. You take control and don’t let up.
Granted, you have to have the goods to back up your bravado – as you did in your example above – or else people can call you out.
Great post and great reminder – thanks for sharing!
John,
Thank you for the book recommendation – I haven’t heard of “Power,” but it sounds like it has an important message that every leader (and aspiring leader) needs to hear. I only wish I had read it prior to my meeting with that government prospect!
Thanks for commenting,
Brad
I gasped when I read this. I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I’ve been doing this for 13 years. I’ve had some amazing experiences in my career, but I’ve always felt that… “I’m not good enough and someone’s going to figure it out… syndrome. I don’t think I’ll be getting over it anytime soon. But it does help to know that I’m not the only one out there.
Ashley,
I’m so glad this piece resonated with you! You’re definitely NOT alone. I hear it from senior executives regularly – people who you’d be shocked share your feelings.
So since you now know, officially, that you’re normal, I hope you’ll “own it” more and walk into a room like you own the place. 🙂
Best wishes,
Brad